Hi Mtn, Sorry to hear W's trip is so hard on you. My wife has done 3 resort trips w/o me since BD. Each one was out of the country for 4-5 nights. I know how hard it can be dealing with the thoughts that come, but it does get easier.

Like RH said, you guys still have a good connection, even if W is lost right now. She needs you to continue to be the rock for her and your family. You are showing incredible strength by standing for her. Know that your DB family is extremely proud of you!

What helped me get through the pain, and deal with the fear of my W leaving town, was telling myself that W NEEDS to do this in order to heal. She has to figure out who she is, and who she wants to be. Letting go of them during this time is the best thing we can do right now, both for them and our M.

How did it go last time she was out? Did you guys communicate a couple of times? She came back to you and the kids, right? She will again.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl