I think for the first couple of weeks I didn't grieve. I was too caught up in dealing with the health issues in my family. Last week it hit me and I'm feeling it. The profile and the phone call are hard. I'm gonna have tears. Did I do the right thing...yes. I haven't once thought I should have continued it. I'm dealing with my own feelings of loss and the fact that I've caused someone I care for a lot of hurt. It's a mish mash of feeling right now. It will lift, I just have to let myself feel what I feel, cleanse and move on.
Thanks Barb, I will. The sun will rise again The relationship meant a lot to me and there were many very special things about it and wonderful memories. She is a very sweet, loving, considerate person in so many ways. Unfortunately, there were things that weren't going to change and I had to look and decide whether this is what I wanted in a relationship. I had to say no it wasn't. Her life was one stress after another ever since we met, she was very dependent on me even for things she could do herself, and she had control issues that just made me crazy. And it wasn't going to change even though we tried to address these things last summer. Those kind of personality issues don't change because someone says "I just won't do it". So, my grief now is that I find it hard to think of being without her but I also know it's not going to work being with her. Yuckkkk!
Sorry Wii. Unfortunately when you've had a year long relationship with someone there are going to be lots of things that remind you of them, i.e. special meals, places, etc. It will get better - but you are right it does s@ck getting through the pain first before you get to the better...
BA, from now on I only take women to places I never want to go to again or restaurants I hate...and we can only have boring, uneventful outings together. And I'm only dating women I have no physical or emotional compatibility with. Now that's being proactive lol!
Well, Mr. Nice Guy blew up at work today and basically told a supervisor what she could do with the workload she was about to assign me. She caught me off guard and I let loose. I refused to do it. Finally she agreed to get me some help with it. Fair enough. Later she came up to me laughing and said "you really flipped on me, didn't you?" She then thanked me for telling her I felt it was too much. I replied that I could have been a little more calm and polite about it. She said not to worry about it. She's always been a nice lady. Late last week I let Voldy have it too. There was an issue re communication between our daughter and us around school issues. I talked to D15 about it and Voldy phoned. I told Voldy what I had done and she replied "Yes, you've discussed it with her but does she understand the severity of this?" and I replied "I don't know whether she understands the severity or not, I'm not her f'ing brain. If I was her f'ing brain maybe I would understand but I'm not. All I know is what I've told her and I've done the best I can. You don't think that's good enough, tough sh!t." She says "Why are you so angry?" It was another week of issue after issue. I was fed up. It has been a long month in many ways...and I've only shared with you guys the major stuff, the rest of it just pecks you to death like a flock of chickens. Do chickens have flocks? Anyhow, it's time to deep breathe.
