It is hard and painful but you can do it. Its good that you are recognizing patterns within yourself-that is what will help you become more self-aware of your triggers, needs and responses. It will help you to be better able to control your responses rather than react to your feelings.

Don't worry about baby steps from H right now. Focus on your own baby steps to becoming an even more fabulous version of you.

I know this is not easy Little. I did the same so often...engaged because I wanted to feel that he wanted to talk to me. I didn't want to feel like he doesn't care about me. I wanted to make sure there was still some sort of connection.

It takes time. And then more time. And more time after that. Emotions are still raw even though it has been months. This is your time. And no one elses.

Let the mind lead and the heart will follow.

Love you Turtle.

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home