Question - is this more script from a WAW - I mean she obviously wasn't happy but it kind of sounds like she's convinced herself she was never happy... perhaps she wasn't... I really don't know anymore. But would appreciate knowing if this is a common line from the script...
Question - is this more script from a WAW - I mean she obviously wasn't happy but it kind of sounds like she's convinced herself she was never happy... perhaps she wasn't... I really don't know anymore. But would appreciate knowing if this is a common line from the script...
Yes, this is right out of the script.
I did think it was - but thank you very much for the reassurance.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
Question - is this more script from a WAW - I mean she obviously wasn't happy but it kind of sounds like she's convinced herself she was never happy... perhaps she wasn't... I really don't know anymore. But would appreciate knowing if this is a common line from the script...
Yes, rewriting history is normal. They focus on all the negatives, and then talk in asolutes...."I was never happy," "you were always an @ss, etc.
Originally Posted By: Intact
It really made me realise how much I miss family life - I wonder if it has the same effect on the WAS?
Nothing massively significant but she lingers a little longer when she drops S off, she constantly makes eye contact and has arranged for the 3 of us to go have a kick around with the football tomorrow - this will be the first activity the 3 of us have done together since BD.
Good! MWD actually mentions the lingering a little longer as a baby step to watch for. DB'ing is a long, long journey with progress measured by many tiny baby steps.
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She has lost an awful lot of weight (when she didn't need too) and just looks so very tired all of the time. She does however seem happy... Sometimes I think she DB better than I do!
Don't believe it. Inside she's confused and in turmoil. My W was the image of poise, serenity and happiness. It was 6 months post-BD before she admitted she was confused and had been the entire time since BD.
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she replied with "I was just pretending to be happy"
Question - is this more script from a WAW
Yup, straight from the handbook. The whole idea that someone even can pretend to be happy and actually pull it off is laughable.
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It really made me realise how much I miss family life - I wonder if it has the same effect on the WAS?
Probably, but she'll never in a million years admit it!
Thank you AnotherStander and Breakdown - your advice and comments are as always greatly appreciated...
Little interesting step - she had to pop over the house today to pick up a couple of bits for our Son - she saw a half empty bottle of milk on the side and said "I'm just going shopping, would you like me to pick some milk up for you?" I told her that would be really helpful if she didn't mind.
I know this seems like nothing, but it just feels like something if that makes any sense. Obviously I'm trying not to read anything into it and just looking at it as a tiny, tiny baby step.
She also phones me now if she needs to discuss anything regarding our son. Not massive i know, but before it was only ever text or email.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
Struggling today and I have come to realise that the real roller coaster, the real struggle is with detachment.
My Wife was nicer to me yesterday than she has been in a long time and it has just made me unbelievably sad. It's easier to detach when she's being nasty quite frankly.
I know there's nothing I can do about it, but she currently sees OM 3-4 nights a week. I hate that she is in love with him, I hate that they have a physical relationship- it consumes my thoughts far too much and it hurts like hell.
Yes, I know I can't control it. I can't change it. I will continue to become a better person. But I love this woman with all of my heart and I desperately want to reconcile.
Instead of internally celebrating baby steps I have grown expectations which I know is wrong and counter productive but I still see our life together. As a couple and as a family. I am so jealous of OM.
Hate days like this. Despite me doing a lot of GAL activities it still feels so damn shitty.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
My Son, just gave me a card he had made me at school. Inside he has written:
"To the best Dad, I miss you every second I am not with you"
It kills me all of this and this is when the anger regarding the WAW comes back. How can she do this too him? Does she even care etc etc. Not healthy I know.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
So W seems a little better around me now - she often phones regarding our Son now rather than text which I see as an improvement and she is certainly nicer too me. She is still with OM however...
Wanted to ask, do I continue on the path I'm on or do I now do something to try and push it on a little more? I find it very hard not to temperature check although I've resisted thus far...
Any advice would be really appreciated.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
I wouldnt temp check right now. Just keep doing what you are doing for now would be my advice
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
