Harder and harder

[Positivespin]

Thanks so much jp787,

Ive read other posts where folks claim that speaking to their WAW is like speaking to a teenager- Absolutly no logic and all about them and their fun.

This will be the third different(confirmed) guy in 3 months. It hurts like hell but I understand that if I go scorched earth in anger I will be regretting the effects years from now.

I continue to work on me- IC last night and down to 216.2 this am on the scale. My daughter and I will have fun this weekend.

Its all I can control at the moment

[LBH_LC]

I'm so grateful I don't have to go through this in my sitch. My STBX may very well be dating, but at least I'm not hearing about it.

Hang in there, pal.

[Positivespin]

So I had an AWESOME time with my D Friday night and sat.

My D and I hung out with my friends at the neighborhood bar on Friday night- SHE LOVES IT we share pizza and Nachos she drinks milk and I drink Diet pepsi w/ Lime . The owner dotes on her and she is in bed by 8:30 pm. Were cool- LOL

On Sat she helped me with errands and we read a ton of books and watched some classic sesame street

On Sunday morning She and I made Banana pancakes together.

Then my wife came home - I figured Id cook her favorite meal and wed have a nice family dinner.

She got PISSED at me for turning the thermostat up 1 degree. Then she got pissed at me because the Mar Coun bill hadnt been changed to my name yet. Then she got pissed at my daughter for not flossing her teeth last night then she got pissed at my Ipad because a webchat box kept popping up while she was ordering her new computer (The Ipad got three Fbombs and a double middle finger)

This is not my wife at all.

If this is the new "X" - I dont want her

We shall see

[jp787]

So I had an AWESOME time with my D Friday night and sat.

My D and I hung out with my friends at the neighborhood bar on Friday night- SHE LOVES IT we share pizza and Nachos she drinks milk and I drink Diet pepsi w/ Lime . The owner dotes on her and she is in bed by 8:30 pm. Were cool- LOL

On Sat she helped me with errands and we read a ton of books and watched some classic sesame street

On Sunday morning She and I made Banana pancakes together.

Then my wife came home - I figured Id cook her favorite meal and wed have a nice family dinner.

This is great, glad you had so much fun!

[Positivespin]

So, Yesterday we had our first "hand off" of my daughter. My wife dropped her off at my office at the end of my day.

first step- Turn the negative into a positive. She had to say goodbye to mommy but HELLO TO DADDY

Second step- I gave her a tour of my office. showed her off to co- workers, then she sat at daddys desk and was "The Boss'

Third step- SNACK MACHINE!!!!!!!!- The girl loves "smartfood"

Interesting detail thou- Wife says as I open the car door "I just want to say that your right. I will start looking for my own apartment" My response " OK"

WOW- she must really hate me to decide that she needs to get away from me so much that she needs to get her own apartment. Before, she was just staying at OM houses /apartments . Last week she was ready to "Play house" at some other guys house........wanting to bring my D over to help plant a Garden

Whatever- cant trust anything
Pathetic

[Positivespin]

No contact with W yesterday. She will be at the house tonight.

Last night I got into a fight with my mother. She felt that she had to tell me that if she sees my W she is going to "Give her a piece of my mind- how dare she do this to you and your little girl"

I re-explained to her that doing so would be negative. That currently there are two outcomes we fix this mess or we D and co-parent the rest of our lives. I again told her that Im not doing all this work to allow her to undermine me and my efforts.

She said she would "try" but could not guarantee anything. So I told her that if a situation like that were to occur I would do whatever I needed to do to protect my immediate family.

she didnt like that.

SO, anyone reading this thread- "MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THE ROAD BACK CLEAR"

If possible, do not tell anyone of your sitch- Its tough, but this is what YOU will have to deal with IF you piece it back together.

[in_it]

Hey, Positive. Just reading your thread.

I have those same type of convos with my mom. It's hard & sad at the same time. My parents found out & I wish they hadn't. If I could go back I would've waited until I knew for sure if it was over or not. Then I may have never even told them. My R with my mom has definitely suffered.

I'm glad you are having so much fun with your daughter. Keep it up. Those times help you get to the next day.

Sounds like you are staying strong & that's the hard part.

[Positivespin]

Sandi2 rule #33 - DO NOT GIVE UP NO MATTER HOW DARK IT IS OR HOW BAD YOU FEEL!

I had a mtg last night that did not end until 10PM. My wife was at the house last night. I sat down in my car, turned it on, and dreaded the thought of going home. I prayed that she would be asleep and I wouldnt have to see her. I saw her car in the driveway and the anxiety began. I looked through the windows as I was driving up and no lights- AMEN!

Perhaps the 3.5 months of affairs is getting to me. Perhaps the nasty cold shoulder she has been giving me is beginning to work. Maybe its the short tempered "snippiness" that drains me of optimism has taken its toll..........

I am 500X stronger then in January and yet still not strong enough. I dont know who this other woman is- and she doesnt care.

Im probably sealing my fate. Im staying positive and when she speaks I give her my undivided attention. I cant speak to her. Im actually scared. Every word I think I want to say is now being over analyzed in my head and maybe 25% come out.

Im REALLY trying not to be distant- but its not working at this time. We have NOW become "roommates".

She told me this morning that she has called several property management companies looking for an apartment but has heard back from no one.

She also said that she is still losing weight - but doesnt want to anymore.

she comes to the house and after D goes to bed she disappears to the guest room with her cellphone and Ipad.

Im working /focusing on me like a bastard. Certification complete, awesome bond with my D, Down 48 lbs and have a clear set of goals to work on.

I have MC tomorrow- I dont want to cancel because im afraid it will be used against me. Causing me alot of anxiety because we are at the stage of discussing workable plans for our daughter and co-parenting.

Maybe ill call out of work tomorrow- need a "mental Health" day

[kenva]

Hey positive. I am in same situation ur in but my w doesn't know I know about the other guy. She too goes out and texes me at the last minute. We have a son your daughters age and I have spent more time and am having so much fun w him this past year. And can tell she notices. My mother inlaw has thrown out the OM name to me saying she thinks her daughter is talking to him. Your right, I didn't tell her the truth about them. I too still love my wife but everyone tells me to look at the reality of this that she might not come back. It's hard to swallow but I know that might be the case. I still have hope , and for you too.

[Positivespin]

Kenva- Thanks for checking in...all we can do is stay strong and plow forward until our W's shed their other friends - CHECK THIS OUT...

SHOCK OR DETACHMENT??????
On Friday I went to MC with W. Due to the fact that she has not given up her OM we are currently using the therapist to check in and get best practices on co-parenting D3 .I thought this would be best to continue to keep us going regularly (currently every 3 weeks) If we make a break through it will enable us to begin piecing quicker.

So, about halfway through the session MC asks her about the OM. My W responds "Which one". THE MC AND I BOTH ALMOST FELL OUT OF OUR SEATS!. She then proceeds to tell us that she hasnt ended it with the first and has not told either one about the other (Please note my preceding post that tells of her arguing the fact that I didnt want my D3 to shack up with one of them).

I stayed calm during the session. Even when W stated that she thought it would be a good idea if she got a apartment because she "has some issues she needs to work out". The MC replied , stonefaced, "I think that may be a good idea".

WHO IS THIS WOMAN???????????????????

I am now concerned for my W as a person. When she "wakes up" this will be FUGLY. I know that all I can do is continue to detach and GAL so that I remain stronger and healthy for my little girl. Even with all that has gone on she has been my best friend and partner for 18 years.

It REALLY helps me to envision an alien taking over her brain. As silly as it sounds it helps to explain all of these issues and revelations.

This weekend D3 and I had a BLAST! Friday night we went to the neighborhood bar were we split Nachos and wings and I drink Diet pepsi and lime and she drinks Milk (to those who might get alarmed she was tucked in bed - brushed and washed- before 8:30pm). On Sat we did yardwork- got it done and then went shopping together. On Sunday we went to breakfast with grandparents- W came home and I dissapeared