I need to be put on a desert island for a few days to detox.
Wouldn't that be perfect? No phones, no computers, just alone and time to reflect on ourselves?
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Okay, so H changed to in a relationship with GFs name on FB. Am I really deluding myself here? Am I just hanging around, loving someone who is not coming back?
I love him, he us a great friend, but how do I reconcile myself with this?
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Of course things w GF are going to be all wonderful upon her return (with H). I think the next couple of weeks/months will be a truer indicator of where he's headed.
DETACH. Really detach. I'm not saying NC, I'm just saying you need to keep in your own head and focus on you and what you want your life to look like.
Tell us more about your thoughts if they start living together. Is this a deal breaker? Before in my thread you indicated this might be.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Thanks turtle...it will be a deal breaker, I think. I can't be married to someone who is living with someone else. I just can't. I will have to explore this further in my head and maybe as I detach more it won't matter, but any R that will occur between H and I will occur regardless of whether we are married or not.
Yes, the next few weeks will be wonderful lol! She is gone again in June, not such a great thing since it gives him a break, so to speak. I know just before she left the last time he was getting a little overwhelmed with her...so.
Yes detaching is good. Is there a pill somewhere? I have made it a promise that April and May will be about me. (well and the kids). Day one....check.
There were some really good things about me that I was developing and in increasing the R with H I found myself sliding into old behaviour. This is a good break for me too, I think, to refocus on who I want to be.
I like the idea of a retreat. There should be a DBing retreat! I would be there in a heartbeat. It would have to be free, of course, as none of us here have any money now! LOL!
Good goal for April and May-refocus on you.
Interesting that we all have different ideas about what is or isn't a deal breaker. (I agree moving in w GF would be a deal breaker for me too....I guess a PA would happen first, in which case I'd already be done.)
At some point we all have to decide which marital promises that have already been broken put us at the end of our rope.
GOod luck with Day 2.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
I'm not saying it should or shouldn't be a deal breaker, that's for you to decide but this:
it will be a deal breaker, I think.
is pretty wishy-washy don't you think?
What is it you want, Ruby? What is best for you?
Perhaps a long break from him would help you in the detachment dept. What I see right now is when he's not with GF and is friendly with you, you're up and when GF is back and he's paying attention to her, you're...not so up.
Who is in control of Ruby?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
. It would lol. I've actually been looking at retreats, but barring the cost, maybe camping will do in another month or so!!