Ah yes, the I am feeling detached and then bam! something happens and I realize I am not as detached as I would like to be. Bit of a see-saw really.
I think it would be good for you to break out of some of the behaviours that H "expects". Not only are these 180s but you might that you LIKE going to bed before him. (I sure did, helped me fall asleep before the snoring started). If HE feels like following, let him! Let him be the dog on the leash.
If you want to watch TV, do it. If you want to be somewhere else, do it. That is YOUR house, too. It will probably feel weird at first to own your territory, but try it on for size.
