The work is about us, not them and it's not until we truly realize that and stop worrying about what they're doing and trying to fix them, even if it's only in our minds, that we can really start to fix us.
That's my experience.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
So, H has taken, as I said, to not really answering texts or emails like he used to. I guess he is distancing as GF prepares to return today.
I emailed about finances, which we will be short for a couple payments this month, which I said I could cover next week.
Let him know about some extra stuff in May coming out etc.
No answer. But then I saw an ad for unlimited gym near his place for less than 30.00. Good deal so I emailed in to him. Because I know he wanted to get to gym. So he replies to this email saying you send me this when we are broke? Really.
I replied 29 bucks..good deal I am glad you got the email
Why do I bite? Argh. I said I wasn't playing this game anymore. I need to be put on a desert island for a few days to detox.
So, H has taken, as I said, to not really answering texts or emails like he used to. I guess he is distancing as GF prepares to return today.
So... what are you doing for you???
Originally Posted By: Inside Out
So he replies to this email saying you send me this when we are broke? Really.
I replied 29 bucks..good deal I am glad you got the email
Why do I bite? Argh. I said I wasn't playing this game anymore. I need to be put on a desert island for a few days to detox.
This just proves that he has been getting them. Do you get it this time?? How many times do we set ourselves up for pain?? This includes myself, well I'm done with temperature checking. If my W wants to communicate she knows where I am and knows I am willing to listen.
However I love the response you had "29 bucks..good deal I am glad you got the email hahaha, thanks for responding knucklhead.
Be good to yourself ruby, would you be friends with someone else who treated you this way? I'm not saying to go dark or none communicative, just take care of yourself, your worth it.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Subguy: Apparently I like to set myself up countless times lmao. Text-respond; text-respond text-respond text-no response....expectations ...have none. But I have to say, he just texted me and said thanks for kicking in, blah blah and we chatted. So either, he realized he was being a dickhead (great song by Kate Nash btw). or is playing the games we used to play. Hopefully he realized that is what he was doing and made a conscious effort not to ,but who knows? My initial email was factual and light, not accusatory, where as that would have been my past behaviour, but unfortunately a little slipped out with the "glad you got email" I can be very sarcastic...something I try to curb a little more these days.
What am I doing for me? I went for coffee this morning, took my book, am painting my bedroom a colour I want and generally hanging about recovering after last night's ABBA dance off lmao!!
Yes because it is interesting to see what our relationship will be over next two months until she goes away again. See if our friendship continues or if he acquiesces to her and drops my friendship...and with friends like that....
I also want to see where this moving in together thing goes. It will impact my decisions greatly.
No, because I need the break lmao!! Love my husband, but I wonder if I was getting tired of being the OW?? lol!! Emotionally that is....GF first language is not English, H's is, although they both speak other language, stuff gets lost. Also as a friend of mine said, GF not an academic whiz kid, I do believe she said I don't think she made it much past Dr. Seuss......So, in that interest, a lot of conversation between H and I is held on 20 years of knowing each other, and knowing sub texts to things that would go over GF head.
That being said, she is perfectly respected in her field and is very energetic and touchy, all in all, my opposite lol!! (although, I am solid in my field as well, but more of an academic)
Today I find myself wondering whether to accept a coffee date or not...maybe it is a realization that I am maybe in a holding pattern as far as my life is concerned? I am not saying that I am ready for relationships or dating, but maybe it is time to take a few walls down.
...in that case I will be done when I am 108...lol...so it seems some days