As for me at the airport H says he still has not come to terms with it. and has not made a decision yet. I know it goes against DB but I want to be there to see my son off on the trip, it will be only an hour or so or even less than that at the airport but I do feel strong on the topic.
Every body and I mean everybody seems to think I am crazy to let him go in the first place, so that is a huge step for me.
As far as the visit, it went well, H spent a lot over money from our joint account on S, surprised me some. Don't know if that is the plan on the trip to or not, debating discussing this or not.
The end of conversation did not go well, we were discussing the airport to which he began playing with S ignoring the conversation with a distraction. I started to leave the room as I he was not giving me attention during the conversation, this was after pausing some to wait for him to play with S for a while then get back to the discussion. When I started to leave he asked why I was leaving to which I said I did not think he wanted to discuss things at that time to which he said he was listening, I came back and sat down. I said I did not think he was listening because he was playing with S, this is something he does a lot when the conversation gets more intimate, have not said anything on topic in the past. H started to cry to which I inquired on the tears and emotion and he said it was because I was telling him he could not play with S.
I informed him that was not what I was saying I was saying that I did not think he was listening to me, I did not tell him he could not play with S. This has been so common lately making it all about him, he has been turning a lot of the conversation into me targetting him and attacking him...this is something he says I always do and have done. Do I see that he could have thought that was what I was say yes, but it was not. He could have stayed and played with S all night long if he wanted...it is that he did not want to discuss a topic that I felt needed to be discussed.
Needless to say he made a comment on leaving and always having to leave the house to which I did not react well, I told him it was his decision to leave and that he decides that each time he walks out the door.
I know it is mindreading to think in his head that I am pushing him out the door, he did not want the divorce but I pushed him to wards it...but man there is only so much of the guilt drop on me that I can take...only so much of putting this marriage on my shoulders!!
How do others deal with that...when the issues of the marriage, separation everything is dumped on you?
