Thanks

[PatientMan]

Sometimes spouses ARE just fishing for a compliment, and sometimes spouses truly feel that way. These are very choppy waters to navigate, so I was hoping someone had some ideas. I posted this on March 1st:

She just texted me: "I feel like I am perpetually fat." Which is ridiculous because she is in the fitness industry and takes very good care of herself.

I responded with: "I am sorry you feel that way, but [W], you are a beautiful, intelligent, strong...a VERY desirable woman, and I can't be around much anymore to remind you of that as often as you deserve to hear it, so you need to stop beating yourself up with thoughts like that."

I almost wrote "silly thoughts" or "ridiculous thoughts", but didn't want to call her feelings either of those words (learned from this forum about validating feelings, though I don't know if the above is a very good job of that).

What I wrote was honest and direct, but I don't think it's very good "validating." And it isn't like I can say something like that every time or it loses it's value.

Anyone else have ideas on the spouse who ISN'T fishing for a compliment?

What about if spouse says "I miss you" or "I love you"? Reciprocating those feelings would be truthful, but I'm really in a mode where I have my feelings towards her shut down externally. I imagine the answer is "it depends", but is there a general rule like some of the other guidance given (e.g. GAL, don't pursue, etc.)?