ummm... you have a habit of not staying with the threads you create.
It can make it difficult for other board members to support you as they may not have the full story and have to bounce around from thread to thread to try to figure out how we can support you.
I know you thought you might be piecing and other members thought you weren't, yet.
I also know you feel your W is MLC. If she is, this can be a very long process.
Try to stick to one thread. If you have a new question, post it in that one thread. Keep posting journal notes, comments and questions in a single thread until it reaches somewhere around 100 posts (of yours and others) before you start a new thread. And if you believe your W is MLC, keep posting here and you will get appropriate support.
Your W's comment of being afraid to lead you on is what we call "script". Other ways it is heard is, "I don't want to give you false hope."
You call it artificial distance. What does that mean, for you? Emotional distance? Physical distance? If she is feeling pressure from you, she wants space. And she will create it how ever it works for her, no matter what you want to call it.
How can you give her the space she wants?
Your response to her comments very likely sounds like pressure, to her. Which will push her further away from you.
If your goal is to get her to completely shut down and drive her away further emotionally and perhaps physically, then you are likely going to achieve that goal.
If your goal is to try to save the M, then you have to create a space for her to feel comfortable in. Where she does not feel pressure.
Stop chasing her, stop pressuring her.
And...
how can we support you? Are you familiar with the "signs" of MLC and "best practices" in dealing with a spouse who is MLC?
