My comment on asking her to leave. As many here attest, confronting generally leads to denial. If there's proof and they admit, they generally won't quit.
While I know there are some members on this board who confronted and it stopped the A and lead to R... well, your mileage may vary.
Again, asking her to leave is likely to have the same results. You are getting advice not to leave. I'm sure she's getting the same advice. Unless she chooses to leave, she's probably going to stay.
In my case, I left. I would not be with someone who was in an A and I knew she would not leave. That was not an easy choice, but I did it. I have no doubt that the results would still be the same, if I had stayed.
If your W is going to regret her choices, it will be for her own reasons and in her own time and not because you gave up and moved on.
