Hey Portia, I haven't posted on your thread yet, I don't think.
I just wanted to put something forward as it seems to be focused on your thread, right now.
And A does not mean MLC and an MLC does not mean there is or will be an A.
Most all an MLCers actions and words are based on what is going on, deep down inside them. They are lost and empty and trying to find happiness.
That attempt can come in any form, from drugs, alcohol, affair, red convertible, new clothes, tattoos, uncontrolled spending.
With MLC, a "solid" affair relationship may not produce BD. My W... truth is, my W never really BD me. I busted her in two EAs just prior to me moving out. She denied them, AND... as far as she was concerned, we would keep living together, and being a normal, "happy" family, but... she would continue to have her own personal, exclusive (of me) life, including what ever friends she wanted to have or do what ever with, that I was not to know or pry into...
Kinda a... non-BD, really...
And, unfortunately... there is nothing the LBS can do but get out of the way of the train wreck.
I used to hope that stbx would hit bottom. Now... I have finally accepted that this is my life.
I keep working on myself and do everything I can to be the best / better father that I can be.
