You are getting a lot of WAS / MLC script, hat. What that means is, as you will learn, many of us hear the same stuff that you have heard. They no longer love the LBS, the haven't loved the LBS the entire M, that the LBS was controlling, that the problems in the M were all the fault of the LBS, etc, etc.
Take a deep breath and if you have not, make sure you pick up and read the book, "Divorce Remedy", which is ultimately the "workbook" that those who are here, work by and support by.
You are receiving some very hurtful feedback from your H and you will really need to get off that emotional roller coaster as quickly as you can, for your own sake and the sake of your children, and it may possibly help save your M.
We call it detaching, which means that you remove any emotional attachment to their words or actions (some may be conscious and some unconscious intentions to hurt you).
We... the LBS... often represent pressure for the WAS / MLCer (your H may be MLC; not that it matters as far as the work we do on ourselves). Just our very existence can feel like pressure. And also, because we are familiar to them, we are often "safe" for them to vent their own frustrations at.
From what you've posted, I would very definitely recommend detaching and GAL (Getting A Life; meaning do things that are not counter to your personal ethics and morals but focus on you and your growth) as hard as that might be and as soon as you can.
You can not be erased from your H and you can't walk on eggshells worrying about whether he feels pressure. In the same token, just focus on you and let his words and actions have no bearing on your own happiness.
Keep posting, use this forum to journal and ask questions. Shorter posts more often will help get you off moderation so that your posts show up immediately. And more board members will be along to support you through this.
