Busting,
That's a really sad song...

If it helps at all, I feel just the same as you:

I hate OW.
And sometimes I want to rage out at H and never see him again because of the pain.
Sometimes I think I want to tell him dont come back until you can come back to this family. Because this coming and going is too much of a toll on them.
I am angry.

And I also wonder: Does it ever come to a point where them not seeing him at all is better for them?

I figure these feelings are normal for the situation we find ourselves in and are things that we just have to work through/give to passage of time.

I'm right there with you.