Possible pressure from OW for him to "show you all he's a man"...?
yet he won't meet with you on something that is so important to him, he'd chase you and S14 around a store and publicly humiliate all of you (himself and OW included)...
hmmmmm...
phone - control S14 - control store - control meet - control won't meet - control
NLW, my W still continues to tell me that I should do this or that or that the kids should do this or that because "it's in the best interest of the kids".
It's a double bind because they know we want the best for the kids.
He very much appears to be trying to suggest that YOU are wrong and are doing something wrong.
Do understand that he is possibly not doing this intentionally, but as an act, it is to manipulate and control you and the kids.
Again, in my case, I no longer respond to any of these types of comm from my W.
Personally, I think you really need to go dark and not respond to him.
He also used the whole court thing to manipulate you, and it worked. Rather than allow him to take you to court so the court would settle this all, and from where I sit I think you have a very good position, you backed down and contacted him to prevent court.
Do what you believe is best for you and your kids. I don't think that comm with him and his spew and venom are best for you and your kids.
Agree. Don't answer to pdf. Meet in public place, and personally? I would bring a witness. He or she does not have to sit at table with you but is within earshot of convo.
Ummm...ya....he's batsh*t. Sorry.
Get daughter a throwaway. Can you guys afford the minutes if you explain and you are careful with data? Don't even ask for phone back. When he gives it say thank you. That's it period. Kaffe is right when he said control.
In my experience , he will threaten to go the court route and then, even if i do what he wants, we end up in court anyway.
It's a no-winner.
Same pattern with D17. He said she could have her phone back when she apologised. She did and it sounded sincere, but immediately the game changed. Then what she had to do was put me on the phone so he could berate me about what a bad parent I was to allow her to be so rude to him.
He still won't give her the phone.
I don't think that comm with him is of any benefit to anyone. I will do this next face-to-face with him in order mainly to gather info and test my own skills at not being baited. Then i think it's pretty much over unless he can show any change. Dim hasn't worked. Dark needs to be tried. This is just bad for all of us.
Thanks for staying with me while i worked this out for myself the hard way.
