Back to the picnic

[needgrace]

KD, so, so glad to see you post again around here. i missed you. accept and forgive.... part of the process of letting our lives have the opportunity to truly unfold isn't it? i feel as if i see things, including myself, with so much more clarity now... zig mentioned the other day to me about feeling transparent now..

IO, i am wondering if perhaps balance is found in continuing to come back to the present moment and by doing that becoming more aware, more transparent, accepting what it and creating and stepping into the awareness of what we wish to be.

tori, i must say that i was a bit sad to read your post bc it felt like a goodbye of sorts. i hope that is not the case, your posts enrich us all. i feel very similarly about you, that the love and grace you put out into the world will come back to you, sweet tori.

my sister busting, i was reading your recent post and was amazed at the courage you have had to face saying goodbye each night to your H... that sounds so very difficult. i admire your strength.

JOURNAL

i realized this week that i need to live my life versus walk through it at times.. i have been working tons of hours and bc of my line of work many evenings i do not get home till 8:30PM. i had thought of applying to be a foster parent a few months back and could not reconcile the two.

i realized that i have always worked as much as possible without a thought as to how it impacts my life and what i really, truly want in my life..

i am starting to create a new plan that could open up the possibility of being a foster parent in the fall... i hesitate to make that big decision until i am through the grieving process as i want to be sure i do it for the right reasons, these children need me to be present and able. (STBX and I had planned to do it and I want to be sure that this is truly my own heart's path)

for now, i am content knowing that there is a path.. and that i can let it unfold.