Ah, the hamsters on the wheel, we've all been there. Even when I was exhausted, sometimes I couldn't sleep. Exercise and meditation help. So do drugs, lol (legal, that is)
So, just calmly tell your H that you did not set kids to spy on him and you respect his space. You could tell him about what they ask you etc. and say that they are kids and trying to make the best of a situation they don't understand.
You have to make sure you don't ask ANY questions of kids about H. If they tell you things, don't question more. I usually just ask, did you have a good time? Things are better now, but at the beginning I always wanted to ferret things out. I asked the children please not to discuss my life with their Dad (but mine are older). D13 looks at me and said Dad asked that we not discuss his life either lol!
As I said, the dynamic now is much different, but at beginning it is best to not even ask. Kids misinterpret things. I found it was hard for me, but I did it..
