I made wife laugh more than she has done in ages by a comment I made earlier, that I didn't even try to be funny about. Kind of like how I used to make her laugh. This was a boost for me.
W & Kids are away, and W very chatty on text. Think she has had a few, as the texts were almost as if we were back a year or so. Nothing like that to play with the mind!
Bad points
W continues to be looking to be irritated by me. Anything goes, just reacting to the wrong words can cause it. For instance W said something today and my face must have had a confused or unsure look to it, because W said - 'what's that look for?'. Its like she is always looking for emotion in my face, I think its because she does not believe anything I am doing is true, and therefore is trying to catch me out. I must get better at hiding emotion. Any suggestions?
W mentioned own place, own things, and is stockpiling for her new house. When ever or where ever that may be. I did not react, or get involved in discussion, just let W say her thing and I smiled back.
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
Ok people - I want to put something out there and get opinions. I may not need to use this advice but want to prepare in case I do.
w is from another state. After she finished college she moved here to be with me. We always talked about moving back to near her home town, I went to college around there too so it was ideal. However a few years after we moved her parents moved here too. We then felt a little obliged to stay so never made the move. W's mom got terminally ill and that's that. After she passed, we could have made that move, so basically have had the last 3 years to do that, but have been just living life on auto mode.
W is visiting brothers and sisters this weekend back in her home town and I know she will have a great time, she always feels down when she leaves because she wants to be with them.
If at any point my W would have said , 'I'm unhappy I think we need to consider doing something drastic, we always dreamed of moving to my hometown lets so do it' - I would go have thought about it, but now I would have no doubts and just go for it. However given all that W has said, and all that has happened , I am not willing to do that as a couple heading for divorce. If however my W was willing to give our R a chance I would be open to work on our R with a mind to making the big move if we become happy again.
So, if there is a hint of W being unhappy about not being with family after leaving them how should I approach this. I can draw more out of her by validating and questioning more. But if its apparent that she would like to move back, but custody of kids and our sitch will always prevent it happening - what next?
Of course I need to be very careful, W could play along so that she ends up near family then give a 2nd BD - she is not that kind of person - well the real W is not.
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
My .02 is that there are consequences to all actions, good and bad. A consequence of divorce is that there are some decisions that are no longer an option.
Ya. You could agree to move and another BD could occur, you could be back together etc etc,, but why open that new fiction book when you haven't even closed this one?
I don't know about you, but for me, the what if game never gives me any peace of mind.
My .02 is that there are consequences to all actions, good and bad. A consequence of divorce is that there are some decisions that are no longer an option.
Ya. You could agree to move and another BD could occur, you could be back together etc etc,, but why open that new fiction book when you haven't even closed this one?
I don't know about you, but for me, the what if game never gives me any peace of mind.
Hi IO, thanks. I need opinions like these to help work out on my head what's a good and bad idea.
I do question - is this a major 180? If wife feels trapped because I she thinks I would not entertain this before and now I am willing to - on the scale of 180's it's gotta be up there. OR does it come across as desperate?
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
Also is it wrong that I am not looking forward to W returning. I'm quite enjoying myself. At first it was lonely, and I don't want to be along for ever, but for now I like it a lot!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
*snort* H and I are separated, but spent a lot of time and virtual time together while his GF was away for a month. Gotta say, I am kind of glad she is coming back as well lmao!! So, I get you
In DR, there is a paragraph that pretty much says when some S's make up their mind it will take a miracle for it to change. I think my sitch is covered by that paragraph.
I really do not know which way to turn. It seems no matter how I handle things W is finding ways to become more cold, rude and cruel. She has pretty much told me her family is out of reach for me now - I won't see them again, she is buying things for her new house (this is amazing considering we are a long way from moving into seperate houses), and she is all round a horrible person to be near.
I am on the verge of giving up - mainly because I can't be treated this way any more. And also because I only see the sitch deteriorating.
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
