Time to roll up the sleeves

[mrtwopointfour]

Ok people - I want to put something out there and get opinions. I may not need to use this advice but want to prepare in case I do.

w is from another state. After she finished college she moved here to be with me. We always talked about moving back to near her home town, I went to college around there too so it was ideal. However a few years after we moved her parents moved here too. We then felt a little obliged to stay so never made the move. W's mom got terminally ill and that's that. After she passed, we could have made that move, so basically have had the last 3 years to do that, but have been just living life on auto mode.

W is visiting brothers and sisters this weekend back in her home town and I know she will have a great time, she always feels down when she leaves because she wants to be with them.

If at any point my W would have said , 'I'm unhappy I think we need to consider doing something drastic, we always dreamed of moving to my hometown lets so do it' - I would go have thought about it, but now I would have no doubts and just go for it. However given all that W has said, and all that has happened , I am not willing to do that as a couple heading for divorce. If however my W was willing to give our R a chance I would be open to work on our R with a mind to making the big move if we become happy again.

So, if there is a hint of W being unhappy about not being with family after leaving them how should I approach this. I can draw more out of her by validating and questioning more. But if its apparent that she would like to move back, but custody of kids and our sitch will always prevent it happening - what next?

Of course I need to be very careful, W could play along so that she ends up near family then give a 2nd BD - she is not that kind of person - well the real W is not.