My WAW - coming to terms with it all!

[WAW_SC]

Journal log:

Today went okay, spent the morning coaching my S5 soccer team...first time I have ever coached and it was a blast, I had to referee the game and I think i did well.
W was there the whole morning and noticed that when she introduced herself to the other parents she didnt really say I was her husband...she kind of just pointed towards me. Pretty weird....i think the law says we are still married.

Anyway, i ignored that and got on with my job on making sure the kids were having fun...and I had fun too. She did compliment me a few times on the great job i did as coach and referee which was nice.

After that we all went to a kids party together. Some easy conversation in the car with W and then didnt really talk to her much during the party but she did come up to me a few times and say a few things about the kids/ party observations..she was in a really positive mood.

On the drive back I started having some negative thoughts...thinking

" well this all seems to be working out great for her....she has someone to help her out and have a chat to, drive the boys around etc with no pressure to be in a relationship with me...she can just walk away whenever she wants."

Anyway, i caught myself having these negative thoughts and noticed my mood started to dip pretty quickly...but I kept my mouth shut and just pushed the thoughts out of my head. Better that we are good terms than being on crap terms and being depressed and resentful around her.

I managed to get the positive vibes back and then dropped her off but there was a little confusion about who was looking after the kids which made her mood change instantly. I kept the conversation simple, came up with a resolution and luckily her mood changed back to semi positive. It was touch and go though....gotta watch out for that.

Another day survived....thats probably the longest time we have spent together in quite a while. I am proud of how I handled it and I hope i can just keep it up.