[in_it]

Cat & Unworthy-I have read both of your comments & want to say thank you and that I appreciate them very much. I did not want either of you to think I was avoiding them. Right now I'm taking some time to reflect & really let what you have each said & asked soak in. I'll post my thoughts within the next couple of days.

I do want to comment on one thing that has been in my head ever since I read Cats post & can't quit thinking about it…in regards to the boundaries. I've never considered myself a weak person or one to have low self esteem. I still don't feel that way. From the beginning of this sitch I've told myself I will do what I'm doing until I'm not 'me' anymore & I feel like my emotional state is not in the best spot for me or my daughters. Well, when finding out I was pregnant is when my emotions hit their lowest & have been spiraling ever since.

I'm about to have to do more soul searching than I have ever done. H will be gone most of 3 weeks out of the next 4. I do believe this will help me. I'm to a point now that I'm almost looking forward to it.

Thanks again for your comments. I feel quite lucky to have you take interest in my sitch & reach out to me. Ok enough for today, I'm starting to cry again just thinking about how the support here is so instant & real and I don't want to cry anymore right now!