Feeling pretty positive today. Maybe it's a bit of a jujitsu maneuver but I've just given myself over to what W wants. We went to MC today and she looked me in the eye and said that this is what she wants and here's why. And then this afternoon we had a meeting with our financial afvisor and her face lit up at the idea of separate residences, so I'm continuing on with giving her everything she wants. She also got angry with the kids a few times today, but I couldn't be bothered playing the mediator the way I would have in the past. It's actually quite liberating to realize that I don't have to take responsibility for her feelings anymore. Focussing on myself has been really liberating, and that has been unexpected.
Look, I know I can come across as a bit of an a-hole, and I know I put a lot of people off. I would say that I might have what some people might call Aspergers-like symptoms, but it's not that simple. If anything I feel things to deeply. I'm very easily wounded, and this situation feels like W and other people are really twisting the knife. All I can ask is that, unlike W, that the people on this board not give up on me. I take your advice to heart, and I love you guys for your support. If you knew me in RL, you would know that I'm a sensitive guy, but one whose initial response is always to fight to protect himself. But that doesn't mean that I am a lost cause. At least I hope not. So please, don't give up on me, because try as I might, I can't give up my hope of turning things around with my beloved W.
I wish all of you, every one, a happy, peaceful tomorrow.
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
