If he is lying to her, what makes you think he isn't lying to you...
So you avoided the question of "is all of this information good for you"
Do you honestly think there is really a benefit to him giving you information about her and their relationship?
I don't. I remember wanting to know everything. Thinking that if I just became his friend...
And while it is true that we want to listen and validate, there are just certain things that we shouldn't have to listen to. And not listening to it, is a personal boundary.
Personal boundaries allow us to build our self esteem and self respect.
Which, at this point, is something that I think you should be focusing on.
Although there are people who will disagree with me, I believe it takes one of two things to allow cake eating...
Extreme self esteem and self respect (in which case, you know where your limit to the cake eating lies)...
or fear of change and losing the m...which is so great that your self esteem takes a huge beating...
The second one, often later leads to regrets and doubt...
So some hard questions...
How do you really feel about continuing the intimate relationship with your H right now?
Why have you chosen to continue to do that?
What are your H's complaints about you and the M?
I haven't seen these questions asked and they really are necessary...
For your growth...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
