I recently changed things up a bit here at home. While I still give my wife space, I don't go out of my way to avoid her. I also made a move that some people here would possibly have taken issue with. We had been sleeping in separate rooms. I had even moved all my clothes out of the MBR. My wife had told me that things were "weird" between us.
Well, after about 4 months of that, I just moved myself and everything else back into the MBR. Unannounced. I also started making physical contact with her. I really think that I had started acting like a guy who is afraid of rejection. I was afraid to do ANYTHING. I was always looking to see her reactions.
I was just frozen in fear. Afraid to make a move. Afraid of what she might be doing. Afraid of what she might be thinking. Afraid of asking her a simple question. I acted like my head was in the sand.
I KNOW my wife appreciates physical touch. I started doing that again. I didn't get a 180 from her, but I didn't get pushed away either. She continues to allow me to touch her. In fact, after moving back into our br, and me initiating physical touch, we have actually ML twice.
I think it was Sandi2 who told me that a woman wants her man to lust after her. If she doesn't get it from you, she will get it somewhere else. It's our job to let them know they are desired... all while making sure we honor their boundaries and give them space and present our new and improved selves to them. If your wife is in crisis, she is probably very concerned about her street value. I know my wife is VERY consumed with her appearance right now.
I don't know what will work for you two. You DID get a straight forward answer when you asked her about her sleeping in the other room. It doesn't seem like you damaged your situation because of the question.
Inuendo, tip toeing around things, not being direct. I think all of this stuff causes us problems. And I don't think that ML was a bad outcome of your move.
BTW, last night was just a step. You should expect her to still sleep in the other room and be pleasantly surprised when she doesn't.
