Guys, I love you all and treasure all your posts and good wishes and hugs. Thank you.
So, you will not believe what happened last night. As I told you, I was having a hard time, and wasn't in the happiest mood. The phone rang, and when I saw the called ID, it read, "Wayne Dyer." I was confused, but picked it up, and it was HIM! My spiritual guide and hero. I told him this was definitely an act of God (synchronicity) bc I had had a really tough day. He said he just felt that he had to call me. I had written to him before so he knew about my sitch. He asked when the court date was, and I said, "Tomorrow!" He said, "Wow, so I was meant to call you today." It was great conversation. I told him I'm sending my H love and hope he finds his path. He said that's all I can do, and that my heartache is in divine order. I agree, bc as Subguy said, if this hadn't happened, I wouldn't be writing this blog and book that will help a ton of people. I would've never met you guys. So all this pain has been for a reason.
After the call I was so happy, I texted my H. He called this AM and said it was a miracle. He called four more times while waiting for the judge to call him (he wanted to know more about the call.) I told him I send him love and peace. He said he felt it.
So he signed the papers. It's all done. He called after and said he didn't know what he future held. I told him we would find out. He said, "Yes, we might not talk to each other again, or end up as friends, or..." and trailed off. Said he truly respected me and wanted me to be happy. I thanked him. And he mentioned the miracle of the call again.
So I had a sense of loss and sadness after but not too bad. I feel so energized by Wayne's call, and truly feel the divine presence of God in me.
I will finish this book and help many many people. I can't wait. For now, I'm helping people through my blog.
So from now on I will refer to my H as my XH. Weird. But if we think about it, it's just a piece of paper that has been signed. I am the same person--not less worthy of love and happiness. I am still a child of God.
This is going to sound weird but I am smiling reading your post. I am so happy for the call you received...! What a blessed thing to happen in your time of need. It really is miraculous.
The piece of paper seems insignificant compared to your path you are on now. You are loved and loving. A beautiful woman.
Thank you Tori. Thank you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care of yourself this weekend sending you love and peace in your heart (((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I always think that what you put out comes back. You have given so much to us, to your marriage, that it was really no surprise that the Universe gave back to you when you needed it most.
Hugs my friend. I am peaceful for you, it feels calm inside
So, here I am, my first two days being a divorced woman. Ugh. I still cringe at the thought. I think we're all more emotionally attached to being married than we think, maybe as much as we're emotionally attached to our spouses. I have already covered this in my book.
I don't feel any different. The paperwork didn't really change anything except for the finances. I remember when I first got married. It sounded so weird to say, "my husband." It took a while to really feel married. I guess it might take a while for me to feel not-married.
Was browsing online dating profiles--just for the heck of it--and I think finding someone new will take some time. I have no idea how he found all these women during our separation (who knows how many--remember the STD incident?) I think he doesn't have high standards. To him, anyone who is a night owl and good looking enough will do. But I do have high standards. I want to be with someone who truly loves me and who is in tune with his true self. Anyway, those are my musings for the day.
From now on, will post less often, but I want you all to remember I am thinking about you and sending you the strength, love, and courage you need.
Tori, Cadet nailed. Be good to yourself, when mine is final I am not going to "look" for someone. I'm gonna take my time and let it happen, GAL will provide enough exposure and darn it I want to want to be in a relationship not need a relationship.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Cadet, I appreciate your opinion, although I have already pinpointed my role in the breakdown of my marriage. There is nothing to "fix," but behaviors to change, and I've already long changed that.
What I realized is that I married a man who never grew up and who seems to have no capacity for compassion. There might be a narcissistic psychological component to consider, but I don't think he'll be psychologically evaluated to confirm this. I didn't know how to react to his abuse and insensitive behavior. Now I know. I'm a much better person than I used to be. And this is why I am sharing my experience with others through the writing of my book.
I am not "looking" for anyone. Love is already part of who I am, and my next romantic relationship will come at the right time. But it's still fun to look at profiles, and I will keep doing so--for the heck of it, as I said before.
Healing takes as much time as one decides for it to take. If I want to, I can heal in a moment, or I can just avoid the pain so I don't even need to heal. At this point in my spiritual journey, I'm opting for avoiding situations that will bring pain.
This is all in my book. It's a different way to look at things, so things we're looking at will change. I guarantee it.
