Last night she told me she wants me to move out. She feels that she has no privacy and cannot move forward with me living with her. We both feel uncomfortable in our own home.
Not sure how this can be done without the profits from the sale of the house to help subsidize us living separately and a $1400 monthly daycare payment.
She also thinks that i would be an unfit parent and do not want to share custody of our children. I did not validate that comment. I am just as qualified to raise these boys equally as much as her.
She is calling a lawyer today.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Sorry to hear about the latest development Maritimer.
Stay strong! Just because she feels that way now, doesn't mean she will feel that way later.......
Remember, it doesn't have to over unless you want it to be. DB'ing is for you and your kids (maybe eventually for W if she wants it to be).
Thoughts and prayers are with you today!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
Thanks SemperFi00, all this happened after she spoke with a councilor. She brought up this topic.
She was quite clear that there is no hope for us and has no intentions on working in this relationship. Too much hurt she says.
She created a co parenting plan that i dont agree with so she is going to a lawyer to see what she can do to prevent me from having 50/50 with the boys. This has to be my worst fear coming true.
I have applied most of these DB techniques but its not looking good for any resolution. The good thing is that I have become a much better me.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
^^^^^ A much better you is absolutely a good thing!
Have you thought about what you think is best for the boys and how you would like to present that as an alternative? Forgive me if you have said this already, but have you consulted a L?
I know it took me a long time to do that and I felt guilty about it (still do at times) but it was helpful. And just because you talk to someone doesn't mean that you have to move forward with any action......
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
What is best for the boys is that they get to see their parents equally. They love us both and no matter what they will miss the other parent when the other has them.
We both have similar schedules so during the week i can drop off and pick up the kids at daycare just as good as her. In the evening we can play , parent and take care of them just as well as the mother. I was hoping for 3 day with the boys and she will have them for 3.
I never seen a lawyer yet. Kinda hoping not to due to our limited finances.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
^^ I was gonna ask too. Have you talked to your lawyer yet? Now that she's going to talk to one you definitely should.
Why do you think she says you will be an unfit parent? Because you have (or had) been an alcoholic? I personally wasn't around anyone with drinking problem but I know a handful people who have lived with functional/unfunctional alcoholics and they all say the same. Even when they get sober, it's always going to be part of the person and you never know when they start drinking again. Maybe your wife is feeling the same way about you even though you have gotten better since DB-ing.
You have to stay strong and show your wife/boys/world that you have changed for the better.
M37 H36 M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist 7/12:H broke down 10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after 1/13:H wants to leave 2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving 3/13: S begins
After many AA meetings and therapy sessions I realized I was not as bad as she put me out to be. Just because she labeled me as one dosent make it true. I have no regrets of cutting it out completely. It is how she feels so i cannot take that away from her. Unfortunately she will always view me as one.
I believe that will be the card she will play. Even though I have made unbelievable changes in my life I still may never be able to gain her trust again. It something I have to accept. I am a wonderful father to my children and nothing will ever be more important to me as they are in my life.
One journey I will never give up on is being the best father i can be to my 2 children. It first starts with taking care of myself and being the best person I can be. DB'ing has taught me that.
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
awww it makes me cry. You are doing the right thing then. Like I said, keep showing the world you have changed for the better!
M37 H36 M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist 7/12:H broke down 10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after 1/13:H wants to leave 2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving 3/13: S begins
