Would you believe her if she told you that she really had no emotional attachment to this guy and wasn't planning on meeting him and possibly having a PA?
Great question! Yes, I think I would believe her. And honestly, I think I would still continue forward with the counseling, but [sic] it might be a deal breaker so I guess my thought is that before she goes to Milwaukee is the critical time? Might be too late after that?
I hear you...
So, here's the deal... I had a lot of "might" concerns in my head. Truth is... they were not "might" concerns... they were clear and solid boundaries... even if unwarranted... and in my mind, what my W was doing was wrong... I have a huge, moral struggle around accepting my W back, after an A. I believe M is worth trying to save, for the sake of the kids, yet I do not want to teach kids that it is OK to have intimate, exclusive R with someone other than a spouse.
I knew the consequences, I made my choice and my bed, and I am now lying in it. Not an easy choice, to be sure.
Your statements of "might"... I would recommend very strongly, to become very CLEAR about this. Is it... or is it not...
If it is "might"... then deal with that when it is time to deal with it. Rather than trying to circumvent something that may or may not happen... you could very likely just push her away... and into the arms of the PA...
