WFM, I agree with the feedback here saying you are sounding much better these days. There for a while, you sounded like you were drowning. Now you sound like you're not panicking anymore.
Keeping your business relationship professional would not entail being cold or distant, but would mean that there are certain things you don't bring up or try to address. Think of your husband as an office coworker with whom you don't have a past. I know it sounds impossible, but maybe that's the way to approach this.
If you and he were just office coworkers, then none of this would be an issue. You would not be affected by things he did or didn't do. They would just be benign events that happened during the course of a day.
I really like Adinva's advice to keep a record of general events and how you respond and how it plays out. Looking at trends and patterns of behavior is impossible without a log. I have started a journal to track this in my situation. In this way, I too aspire to pay attention to what works and what doesn't in my R with my wife.
I have spent way too much time on "she did this and then I said that..."
