Struggling and need help

[CharlieBrown]

Next day I talked again to her friend and she basically said this is all about the marriage and she resents me. I told her friend that I was going to go to counselling and thought my wife should as well, but she might be too stubborn. She agreed that was a good move and said she would suggest it to.

I found a counselor who is a Gottman and MWD trained, pro-marriage counselor. He saw me a week ago individually and told me it didn't sound like WAW yet, but rather possible depression, and that he would need to see her. Wife went Wednesday. We sat down Wednesday night and she said appointment went well, she liked him, and thought next step of us going as a couple is a good idea. She said he told her she clearly had at least mild depression and he was going to work that into our treatment.

But, she also told me as we talked more that something had changed the week of the concert when I was out of town. She said after she dropped the kids off at sports, she was tempted to just keep driving and not come back. I asked her why that week and she didn't know. I asked her if something happened at the concert and she said no.

I went to bed feeling good that we were moving forward, but yesterday I had a sick feeling that maybe something had happened and she was holding back. The thought of another man had never occurred to me, but last night after she went to bed, I went into our office to her FB account and saw a new friend who is a heavily tattood professional model/actor who owns a fitness studio in Milwaukee. When I clicked on his page, his first post was from the day before for the healthy recipe that she came home and cooked for dinner last night after "finding it online". I almost threw up. Then, I scrolled down and saw they became friends in early March, and that she posted something to one of his messages from the Pink concert, and, his posts implied that he was on the road, so he could have been there. This triggered a panic that led me to look at her gmail and this morning, when she was working out, to look at her phone to see if there were any calls to or from Milwaukee that were unfamiliar. I didn't see any, but the other disturbing part is that on his profile, he works at a restaraunt in Milwaukee that she mentioned she is excited to go to in a few weeks when she visits a close friend there. Again, panic feeling.

I did a few things last night. One, I got out of her FB account and looked at it from the public viewing. On that, I could see both her friending the guy and when I went to his public site, her post was visible. So, I could ask her about him based on that. Also, I invited her to Friend me, and she has not responded although the other 5 or so people I sent to have.