[cat04]

This is hard. So, so hard. I don't want to detach. I don't want to break away. I don't want to be without H.

There is no one who has posted here as an LBS that hasn't felt that way.

The problem with it is that all it will do is continue to cause pain for you and push your S away.

I think you may be looking at the whole process the wrong way.

What you need to realize is that the best way to rebuild your M, is to get yourself healthy. You can't do that while you are mired in the muck of what is going on.

You seem to know a ton about OW, things she has said to your H, things he has said to her. I am curious where that knowledge comes from and do you really think knowing the things that you do (she wants to have his baby, her living situation, etc...) helps you in your quest to save your M?

I understand. I get the feeling that you feel like you are in a competition with her and if you can just be better than her, he will decide to stay with you.

Guess what...it doesn't work that way. The competition isn't with her. It is with yourself.

I also really, really want to send that email I posted yesterday. I just want him to talk to me.

Unfortunately, sending that email is probably not going to bring the result that you desire.

I would be willing to bet that many of his questions regarding the pregnancy are coming from OW. They are also coming from a place of anger within him because you have messed up his plans.

The only thing that will probably happen for a while anyway is more nastiness directed your way.

And that is a stress that you do not need right now.

You will get through this. You need to make yourself a priority at this point.