I think it's self-defeating to think of it this way. You're inviting him to share. He may not for any number of reasons. If he doesn't respond to your invitation tomorrow, do you think it might still soften him toward reconsidering? I would.
I don't think this will get the response you're hoping for. We do things out of loyalty and love, not guilt. Think how you felt when your MIL tried the obligation tack on you and your D.
Okay I know you're right. After everything I've learned I'm actually afraid it's going to turn into a tear filled 'WHY WHY WHY' session. That would be the worst scenario. It's hard to think of acceptance and validation, even harder to actually practice it. It'll be the biggest step I've made in DB.
My H is a very tough man and, historically,if he's done, he's done. I want to believe in impossible changes. It's been easier to keep my faith private and work on myself. Facing the reality of this confrontation & being the first time we'll actually have any (hopefully) true communication about our R is terrifying.
But even reading the ILYBINILWY book talks about this moment being the start of a different R. THAT's where the hurt comes from. We never discussed, never had the chance for changes, no communication or confessions then - okay he's gone.
My mind is replaying a lot of old history in prep for this thing. I need to refocus and have a beginners mind, hope for new changes.
