That is exactly how I felt! I paid my dues, did my time, put in the effort to work through all those emotions, and today, I have learned that MLCer doesn't care one hoot about any of that!
You become a lone wolf, upholding your family beliefs, your shared values as a couple, and the moral judgement, well, that becomes your burden alone as well! Your own convictions are put through the test, along with your faith in everything you do at this point, we have been let down to such a degree that we must go through are own growth in order to regain a new stronger sence of self, IMHO!
I have gone through stages of saying and thinking things that would make God frown, but I know He knows what's in my heart, it's just taking me longer to figure it out.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
