This is always how I have felt . Good for you Busting, you sound good...and strong and resolved.
If you don't know what to do, ask if you want to know and don't ask if you don't. That's what I do. But I have asked H to always be honest, and he said he would, but I may not like the answers lol! I said I am only asking questions I want the answers to.
So, that always makes me think if I want to know, if knowing will benefit me and the kids, whether the answer hurts or not. Then I go forward.
I also try not to ask any questions about the future. Ever. The future belongs to me and my kids. And it often changes