After phone coaching session #2

[azguy]

I agree that IC ultimatum suggestion is not a good idea. from reading your posts, the co-parenting suggestion from your DB coach also sounds likely to not be too helpful.

But I really like the idea of you inviting your H to express what he is unhappy about in the R, with the idea that you listen and not react. You may be right that he won't say much. Part of the approach here, I think, is to convey to him that you really want to understand how he feels. That is done not just with the initial statement, but by listening and validating. You can practice this ahead of time as you have just started in your last post. I say go for this one! The best part is you are saying, essentially, that you want a thriving R with him, by showing him how you want to listen, not by wearing your heart on your sleeve.

"I'd like to make the point that MWD makes about positive attitude creates positive change. If H lets go of the 'too late' attitude, he could be open to change in feelings if there are any. "

This sounds like you want to tell him how he should approach the R? That sounds like a bad idea. . .