Look at how much you've grown in such a short time! Excellent job controlling yourself! Bravo! These are changes he will for sure notice.
I do worry about your tone in discussing allowing S to go out of state. It sounds like you are more resigned than truly agreeing it's the best thing for S. I can't imagine how hard it is for you, maybe that's the best it can be is flat acceptance. But if he goes, don't let it turn into a walking death row situation in your head. Spin it & make it a great adventure for S, even if he's maybe too young to comprehend.
The money situation is tricky, especially with no legal protection. My H put me on a generous allowance before he left and hasn't stiffed me yet, but I still get a little nervous every couple weeks making sure the money arrives. At the very beginning, we agreed who would pay what bills (basically I pay everything and he pays his & kids phone bill & his visa bill). It's worked so far but H has mentioned I was going to "need to see how much $ I really need to live" because he wants to get his own apartment. Will cross that bridge when we come to it I guess.
This may go against DB principals, but don't let your desire to save your M jeopardize you taking care of yourself and S. Keep your legal options open if you need help getting money from him.
You're doing great. Don't lose sight of your progress.
