I'm trying real hard to be the Shepard.

[Mtnman]

I actually look forward to Sunday and the announcement. It will be fun to watch W, assuming she goes.

As far as the anniversary, I'm getting her a card. I will probably do a funny one sort of like I did for valentines day.

[reachingHigher]

Hi Mtnman,

How did Sunday go at church?

Which day is your anniversary?

[Mtnman]

Hi rH! W didn't make it to church. Announcement was made though. I received congrats from some and hugs from others.

Yesterday was the anniversary. W forgot it until she saw a card we received in the mail. W, I, and the boys ended up shopping/eating out in the town we were married. It was unplanned. After eating we went to the chapel by the lake where we had our ceremony. We really enjoyed it. W commented that it was Gods plan for us to end up there yesterday, and that we should go every year for our anniversary. When we got home, w left at the first opportunity, with no mention of anything. No hug, etc.

So, good day, but strange day. Really hard to hear W say those things and then nada.

Went today and had a picnic with all of us at her fathers grave. No emotion noticed.

These aliens are an odd bunch.

[Mtnman]

Forgot to add that I didn't give her a card once W made it known she forgot.

[Mtnman]

Had to travel for work this week. Ive gotten to where i dont like to be gone. Boys really missed me. W is so frustrating to watch around them. She ignores them to talk/text constantly.

I hate the way she treats them. They adore her, and she can be so sweet to them. Unfortunately, she cannot focus on them for any extended amount of time. So unfair to them.

They had to call me on the way home for a splinter in S9s finger. I assumed it was bad. Three hours later when I got home, I realized it was barely there. Didn't even draw blood. S6 called and talked to me for one of the hours on the drive in. He slept with my pillow last night because he missed me.

These boys need their mother.

[BklynMom]

ohhh, that is so sweet how much they love you and her.

Your W is choosing to miss so much loving from her little guys.

Nothing you can do can replace their mom, no substitutions there.

One thing I try to remember is that hard times are a part of life. You can help them by teaching them the lessons that we are learning here.

Be grateful for what they have. Be grateful they have a nice home, a lovely brother, a great dad and mom that loves them in her own way.

I think teaching kids that problems are part of our lives and we need to work together - as a family is such a powerful tool.

Your kids knowing that they can call you any time and knowing how much you love them, that is awesome.

[Mtnman]

Thanks Bklyn. I hope you're doing ok. They always call me when I'm gone. Usually on FaceTime. I have nothing to hide, so I always answer even if its 9:00 and I'm out with coworkers. S6 has never met a stranger so my coworkers usually talk to him also.

I know we're teaching them lessons, I just wish it wasn't this one. I'd prefer the Santa isn't real hurdle to be the low point of their childhood.

Last night W said she missed having me home when she's here. She clarified to say she didn't miss me "that" way, but did miss having our family together. This morning the boys stayed here about an hour and then headed down to her place (spring break). They stayed there until lunch. I think it's nice, for them, that she's staying so close. They miss her, S9 especially, and she is close enough for them to walk. They just barge in on her. It forces her to connect with them, and I can tell she has more recently.

She and I watched Life of Pi together this afternoon. We had a lot of good discussion about faith and the symbolism. At one point I received an email that caused some stress for me (work). She picked up on the change in my breathing and asked what was bothering me. I almost said "I'm missing you." But I didn't.

[Mtnman]

No church for us today as I'm running a fever? Oh well, I guess that's as good a reason as any.

We all had to go to another funeral yesterday. W actually shed a tear. Odd as it sounds, we had a good time. I noticed I didn't feel right after we got home. Told W to go ahead with her plans to go out.

MIL called and asked me and the boys to come back to church to eat. Lots of food left after they feed the family after the funeral. So, we did. I think MIL feels guilty about her daughters actions.

Realized I was running a fever after we got back home. Rough night. S9 is a highly sensitive kid. If he gets the least bit hungry, tired, etc., he can get difficult. He couldn't sleep because "someone was trying to get him." I finally gave up at 11 and he got in bed with me.

Boys are making breakfast for me. They're pretty good kids, and will stay that way if we don't screw them up.

[reachingHigher]

Hi Mtnman,

I'm sorry your sick. It makes everything more difficult doesn't it?

It sounds like you and W have done a wonderful job raising your sons and that you are a very loving family. That's what makes it hurt so bad.

It sounds like the desire to reunite the family is a big draw for your W. I think that is good and it's b/c you haven't fallen apart despite this big upheaval in your life.

I think your choice to not give the card for the anniversary was a good one. It sounds like you're managing despite your frustrations and anger with the sitch.

Take good care of yourself so you'll be back up to speed soon
rH

[BklynMom]

I really think you should give your wife as much space as you can.

Check out the book by Laura Munson this is not the season you think it is. Its the opposite gender roles but I think it relates to your story.

Hang in there, give her room to figure it out on her own