Not confused...trying to move forward...

[BRNR]

So, I am focused on moving forward.

So, DivorceCare class is on Thursdays, and I have decided that I will continue to go, not sure how long though. These classes are on the other side of town. Wile H's night is on Thursdays, I have set the precedence of being home so he can bring back the kids anytime he wants...I have noticed that his times of dropping them off seem to get earlier and earlier on his nights, and I assume this is due to him heading out to see his girlfriend who lives an hour away. Our original agreement was that he bring them home at nine. And this works out for me because class runs from 6:30-8:00. Plus the drive to get home and maybe a stop to get some food for myself. Since he has been bringing them back at 8-8:30, I requested today if he could start bringing them back at 8:45-9.

Well, my MLCer thought it would be okay to say sure...but then proceeded to ask his own favor. Can I take the kids to school next Thursday...H's birthday. I said no, and nicely gave him a reason that I had to open up the office at work. He asked again, but this time with the guilt of, I am doing you a favor now I need one. I told him again, no I had another commitment. So when he dropped the kids off tonight he asked again. I almost lost it, but pulled back, he said he really needed it, and I said, I told you twice now no. He asked why wouldn't I help him out, when he was helping me. I reminded him that our original agreement was for him to bring back the kids at nine, and I have been available for him to bring them back earlier as it was. So, temper tantrum is on its way.

I will say I do have a little guilt, because I know he is only asking so he can be with ow on his birthday, and I only lied, because I don't care any more and I don't like him preferring his girl over the kids. Irregardless of him not loving me, he needs to make the kids his priority, not ow.

I know I set a boundary for the wrong reasons, but I am tired of making things easy for him to have his affair. Heck, if I wanted to, he is not allowing enough time for me to have my own.

So, with this I expect for their to be backlash. H just has no idea that things can and will get worse for him the longer he keeps going like this...he is only punishing himself because he will force me into a position of doing things that will really hurt him, and I don't want things to get ugly.

So, curious. I did the wrong thing, didn't I.