Regarding 4:15 and 5 pm, in order to not be a doormat you have to make your needs clear far enough in advance for her to make plans, and far enough in advance for you to adjust your request if her work schedule can't accommodate your plans.

Good try, just do it with more notice and clarity next time.

And, what you describe as giving up many others would describe as letting go, which is without exception essential to any reconciliation.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.