Well, it's been a rough month or so for Whatis/ Last week my daughter 15 had a 3.5 hour surgery on her ear. She's had a defect since birth and recurring ear infections have reduced her hearing to 50% in one ear. The surgeon was fixing the hole in the ear drum, removing a growth which had crushed her ear drum and removed decayed bone. He also did some reconstructive work that may or may not bring back some hearing. We'll know in seven weeks at our next visit. The day after my daughter's surgery, my Mom was operated on for breast cancer. They removed the lump and have taken biopsies and we'll see next week whether she just requires radiation or whether they have to go back and take the whole breast. She's recovering well. Lastly, I ended my relationship with SDA Lady. I don't want to go into the issues but it was a very difficult decision to make. I still have very warm and loving feelings for her but some people just shouldn't be together. I had concluded that we were two of them. We'd been together 14 months and the same issues as we'd had previously were rearing their ugly heads again. I met with a therapist and some friends and all were in agreement, this was not working for me. The therapist, who I've known for many years, said "Congratulations Whatis, you've managed to find a lady more anxious than you are!" She also said "you've told her what your needs are and she's not listening, in fact, she's telling YOU what your needs are." Finally I decided to end it and did so in as loving a way as I could. So anyway, less than a month later (and a week after me telling her not to call me anymore as the contact was not allowing us time to heal) SDA Lady is back on POF "looking for a relationship". Apparently I'm the only one who can look at his issues and the part they played in the relationship and say "needs some work!". I really do miss her though, she was so sweet in so many ways but that's the road I chose, now I gotta travel it. So DBers, empathy I can handle right now but advice...let it rest for awhile. I am hurting and still processing this loss. I haven't had time to really grieve with all the health issues to attend to in my family lately...but I will rise again! Thanks.
