Losing Hope

[Shiss]

Quite a day. I concede and surrender to his wishes for a D. He texted me so many hurtful things today that I realize I can no longer save my M on my own. Thank you all for your advice and comments and hope the best for your M's!

[ChrisN]

Shiss!

Don't go anywhere yet! Talk to us... I my not be ble to help, but I'll listen nd try...ns the vets will chime in! Tell us what happened.

[Shiss]

Previous post about flowers. H is pissed. They were sent to me to make me feel better he now assumes I am seeing someone said he doesn't care, doesn't trust me and that he's done paying the bills. Well he wanted a D why does he care who sent me some stupid flowers when he left me and said he wants a D? I feel I did not do anything wrong and he is just blaming me. I wave the white flag of surrender. No hope at all. He is too angry.

[jp787]

Quite a day. I concede and surrender to his wishes for a D. He texted me so many hurtful things today that I realize I can no longer save my M on my own. Thank you all for your advice and comments and hope the best for your M's!

I would guess your H is hurt by the roses and that is what is fueling his words.
I think roses from a friend of the opposite sex is inappropriate.
I would breathe and not react.
Take some time to think about what you want and where you are at.

[Shiss]

It was harmless, he was just trying to cheer me up. I agree JP I really do, but my question is, why does he care if he wants a D and left our home. I now wait to get served. I tried I really did but I have to concede for my sanity and just do what he wants.

[mrtwopointfour]

Shiss, I am in no place to give this advice as I have my moments (even 10 minutes ago I thought 'I have had enough') but you need to relax, and stop the panic, think about things before you do anything.

I will tell you about something strange that happened last week. My W, who claims she does not love me, who also suggested I start getting out there (probably to ease guilt of EA), and claims there is no hope, got annoyed when we were in a shop and another woman gave me admiring look - I did not do anything myself, but I felt like I was guilty because of her reaction.

Just proves that even though they claim not to have any feelings at all, it just takes something like that to throw them off track a little.

[Shiss]

Thanks 2.4. It just makes us think why they care when their actions are completely opposite. Feels like I'm drowning, I'm sure all of ya'll can relate.

[Shiss]

Ok so since he wants this, I still let him file and drive it home, I don't help with that, right?

[jp787]

Ok so since he wants this, I still let him file and drive it home, I don't help with that, right?

I would not do anything, especially talk to him about it unless he brings it up.

[mrtwopointfour]

Thanks 2.4. It just makes us think why they care when their actions are completely opposite. Feels like I'm drowning, I'm sure all of ya'll can relate.

Oh yes, drowning sometimes, floating on my back with the sun on face at others times. Its hard work.

I think they do care, but put on such a poker face because this is what they think they need to do to be truly happy. And the only way to get to where they want to, is to push all the emotion and feelings they have for us away and learn to hate us instead, when they hate us their actions are justified. The problem is when something like you describe happens, the feelings and emotions they are hiding deep down come to the surface. I guess the question is, if they have these feelings and emotions, why do they feel they need to get away from us. Something I still struggle with every day, even though I know 50% of the reason is my actions through our M.