X demands full custody because I'm engaged, Part 2

[sleeper]

Lawyer contacted (he answered the phone the second time I called)

Appointment tomorrow.

I get the impression returning to what was the status quo with DS is a slam dunk. Case will be heard by the same judge that wrote original custody orders. (the custody orders she said she would violate (and did) in front of a witness). Lawyer said he could call the counselor to testify because she said it in front of me too.

DD is a different story. Because of her age, her stated desire to live with her mother will have a bearing.

I have counseling appt for kids scheduled for next week.

[SunFunOne]

So sorry for all you are going through. Just [censored]! Seems your ex thinks she is above the law. She may be in for a rude awakening. You handled things as well as anyone could.

Ex is right that your daughter may be able to choose. I'm sure she has had her head filled with all kinds of garbage by her Mom so it's good she will be seeing the counselor.

Hang in there!

Barb

[kml]

And remember - even IF your daughter chooses to live with X FOR NOW, she may well change her mind in a year or two (or a month or two).

[sleeper]

I awoke this AM with question of whether to go for full custody or enforcement of what was the status quo (joint shared custody). Her violation of the court order and actions that have visibly upset the children (one of DD's teachers contacted me concerned something was upsetting DD Tuesday AM after X took them Monday after school and then DS was in tears Wednesday evening).

I meet with the L in two hours and will seek his "counsel".

[oldtimer]

Sleeper,

FWIW, this sounds vengeful. Examine your motives carefully. Your kids need both parents. This isn't about you and XW, it is about them.

[sleeper]

Not vengeful, OT. X has manipulated and is now hurting my children. I have seen the tears. I have heard the crying on the phone. I have been asked, what is wrong with DD? by one of her teachers when she first arrived at school from X's house this week. She is hurting my kids and this must stop. The L even said it constitutes an "emergency situation" in his opinion. Please tell me how you conclude it sounds vengeful.

The lawyer is going to file a motion requesting action for X to comply with the court's standing order and cite X for being in contempt of court. He will request immediate action (est. 1-2 weeks).

He expects X to file for full custody in response, says she has no grounds but depending on her lawyer she may advise not to or go through the motions and drag the children through the process.

The last time I hired a lawyer X physically assaulted me in front of the children when she found out.

And so it begins

[sleeper]

She did it again. When she took the kids this week she said (in front of DS and myself) they would be with me this weekend. It's this weekend now and she says "the kids don't want to come to you." that may be the case with DD but DS spent last night with me and I don't believe her. Not that it matters anyway cause I learned from L judge would listen to kids but their preference has no bearing.

I could go over attempt to get them and file another police report (got 3 now) but I think it may be redundant and only cause kids more stress. Downside is I texted kids I would pick them up and font want to not follow through on my word with them or let them think I'm giving up.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Papa4Life]

I don't really have any useful advice for you, but I wanted to commend you on your calm, thoughtful responses to your x. Speaking as the children of warring divorced parents, I can tell you that your kids GREATLY appreciate your efforts to spare them from the stresses that an unreasonable parent causes them. Whatever happens, I hope you are able to hold on to your equanimity in the face of your X's abuse. You seem lime one heck of a good dad and I salute you.

[sleeper]

Thank you both.

Papa, you brought a tear to my eye. Now that I have calmed myself and thought I have decided Not to go attempt to get them. There would be a scene and issues of some sort. I have enough evidence already of her violations. It would serve no effective purpose and cause kids more pain.

Gabby, your response is the same as my fiance's on the phone moments ago. I think that may be a "momma thing" (I say that with the utmost respect and hope no offense). DD texted hearing her mother "defend her" on phone (Freudian guilty conscious slip?). I responded she had done nothing wrong and , "I love you". I also texted DS the fact his mother did not want me to take him from her house and I had hoped we could have gone fishing again. I took him fishing yesterday and we watched a guy movie last night during our short time together.

Thank you again. It helps. Focusing on the kids and their well being will guide me through this.

[figgeroni]

gineen...

unfortunately, you cannot just "go and get them"

it [censored]

but it is true

Sorry Sleeper...it [censored] all around but you are doing a magnificent job of looking out for the well being of your children...what being a parent is really all about