Mother-in-law, whom I thought I was building a better relationship with since H left, texted yesterday if D18 had received her bday card & money. I replied yes, she's so grateful, sorry she didn't text you, hows it going? MIL replied, well I did send her a text & didn't hear back. Bad marks for d18, she should have expressed appreciation immediately.
On the other hand, I did invite MIL to her party last week & she didn't come because weather & traffic was too bad. I also invited her to family dinner last Monday and she declined again.
Then MIL posts on FB this morning "I don't understand how people can be so ungrateful!! Not asking for a thank you card. Would be tickled pink with an email or text! And over the moon with a phone call! Sure makes me not want to give much or ANYTHING in the future!"
Wow, passive aggressive much?? This is why we didn't speak to her for 12 years!!
It's not my job to try to teach MIL that her expression is unhealthy and mean spirited - especially against her granddaughter who just got the card 2 days ago. And maybe I'm mindreading about MIL's true intent and her post is directed at someone else (yeah, right).
But how does an emotionally healthy person handle this? Old me would have lambasted her with a snarky comment on FB. I will not react this way. I'm inclined to let her vent & if she has a mature issue she needs to discuss with d18 or me, she can approach us. But this also will make me very reserved in ALL future dealings with her. I could try to express that I find her comments really hurtful and wish that she would have just called to talk about it instead of trying to shame d18 on fb. But again, it's not my job to try to teach her a lesson. I want to call H and complain to him, but I'm not supposed to discuss negative feelings with H.
