Well you do understand that it's still possible to turn things around. But that's up to you.
No, it's not really up to me anymore. It's just like what everybody says on these boards: I can't control W's feelings or actions, and she's made it clear that she "really wants a D", so I'm not going to fight it anymore. I'm just going to stop any kind of reasoning and letting myself be treated like a doormat and focus on finding that confident, happy guy I used to be. But the expectations and hopes I had, I've just had to let them go.
I guess I just never got the whole DBing principle, because I just made mistake after mistake, and now that I've decided to just let go and give W what she says she wants, now people are telling me that that's the wrong approach too. Wish I could afford telephone counselling, but right now I've got to start saving every dime to put towards my own apartment and legal costs.
Originally Posted By: SemperFi00
Ok P4L, not too long ago you gave me a 2x4 so now returning the favor....... (and partially a reminder to myself)
Looking after yourself - absolutely!
Giving up - never!! You, your children and even your W deserve more than that.
It's hard - I realize that but it is absolutely worth it. Even if things don't end up as you originally expected they would......
Stay Strong!!
Hi Semper. Thanks, amigo, I appreciate the encouraging words. It's great that you are offering help to others on this board, because you do "learn by teaching", and I know that most of the advice I offer is usually directed just as much towards myself.
I'm not giving up entirely. I'm still going to try to use the DB techniques. And I will most certainly remain devoted to my kids. I've just accepted that my W has made up her mind and I'm not going to waste any more time trying to make her reconsider.
It's a bit odd, really, I feel quite positive at the moment. Like a weight is off my shoulders. Who knows, maybe this step will actually turn out to be positive for everyone. Like I say, I have enormous respect and admiration for my W, and at the end of the day, I want her to be happy.
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
