A few, quick observations. I am guessing you live in a fairly small community as you and your current W ended up getting together and then finding out that your ex and her ex were cheating on the two of you.
That said, I appreciate that your indicate you had no interest in this woman you know professionally. And certainly, it is understandable that your W has jealousy issues.
One thing is to separate the wheat from the chaff here, so to speak.
Your W's issues are her issues. You can not fix them, only she can, although they are not for you to use as a buffer to your contribution to this. Even beyond this "trigger".
It may take your W a very long time to "get over" something that you think is completely benign.
Slow and steady will win this race. How do you plan on being open and transparent with your W, as you work on helping her trust you, again?
