Hi hoper, ok. Good to know that you've rethought the "affair up| idea. For context of others reading here, you have just had a number of posts approved, beginning from back on the 8th.
Just so you know, your posts will be off moderation sooner if you post more frequently. If you can post daily, even if it is just journaling, you will get off moderation.
It does sound like your H is in MLC, based on some of the things you post. Of course, the work we do for ourselves, is done regardless of our spouse's disposition. Some spouses seem to process more subtly and slowly, so they appear more like WAS, as they come to the conclusion that we are simply not compatible. It is things like the curled mustache, out of character partying, the classic "MLC vehicle" and teenage like behaviours as we notice replay behaviours, that tell the tale.
I will tell you that I obsessed about the OPs my ex had. It did me no good. I have remained unable to get admission from my ex and so no resolution. Do not expect your H will ever admit the A. Just move forward with the work on yourself.
And as you have likely read, if it is MLC, it can take a long time to get through it. GAL, detach, and take care of yourself and your S during this time. Your H will only work through this on his own time. There is nothing you can do to affect change in him.
