Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[mamabird]

Hey guys. I disappeared for a while. Just dealing with life, I guess. I have been thinking about you all though!! Now that I'm not banished to the den anymore I have less alone time to write here, and I guess that's a good thing.

Our marriage continues to improve, albeit at a glacially slow pace. As we move through the process, we find more thorns and knots at every turn. I will say that I adore our MC. He is wonderful. He can speak to both of us in a way that we can hear it and he is giving us advice that is working.

I still find myself frustrated with my H's detachment. I brought this up in MC yesterday and we finally got around to discussing H's mother, who left the family when he was about 12. There is almost too much to say about it, but in a nutshell, he hasn't processed the abandonment, and my IC thinks he's projected all of his feelings around that onto me, hence his violent reactions (for lack of a better term). As I gain more perspective, I'm just coming to terms with how much damage his mother has done, but on the other hand, I'm able to let myself off the hook a bit because a lot of this doesn't really have to do with me. Very sad situation.

On the positive side, I am gaining a lot more control over my own emotions. In the past, feeling neglected by H would just mean that I would go to OM1 and/or 2 for validation and comfort. I still am not really getting that from H but at least at this point I can tell him that I need more from him. I am trying to work on my own confidence and trying to be more positive instead of negative.

Will keep you all posted!