I don't shy away from giving advice. In this case I can tell you more about my stitch, if others see any similarities; your welcome to follow.
Why did she stay. Basically I bailed her out of a lot of sh!t. We moved in together too soon after her D. She wanted her freedom so I took on the responsibilities of taking care of her son. At one point she begged me to marry her. I resisted for a few years before I asked her to be my W.
IMHO - She stayed because she was comfortable and secure. Had a built in baby sitter who she trusted to take care of her son. Today my step son and I get along together quite well. I believed her when she stayed out until the early mornings "just to talk."
I slowly gave into my needs to satisfy hers. Somewhere our paths moved in different directions. What I thought I gave freely was now taken for granted. We were no longer best friends. Her friends became more of a priority than family. Our daughter suffered and it was too late to recover from this train wreck.
So this is what I think is happening. Maybe in your stich he's staying b/c he's comfortable. Or maybe he's doing his best to find out what he really wants and needs. By DB'ing and writing down your goals will help you find out what the health of you M is at.
Sorry I wasn't much help. The key here is to focus on your DB'ing skills. It will prepare you for what is about to come (good or bad) and help you see what is truly going on in your stich.
