Well, for starters - tonight my uncle (he takes care of S while I'm at work) is droppping S off at my husband's shop for a f ew minutes, so I have to pick him up there. Normally this situation would almost certainly cause a fight, because of how depressing it is to say goodbye and leave H there (he lives in the shop bsmt right now).
Today I am going to leave before he hints at it, say goodbye cheerfully, and take my leave.
That's the plan anyway - wish me luck.
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Hi, DB'ers. Well, I got through seeing him without any incidents. I was pleasant, polite, calm, and left before he brought it up. I gave him a kiss, which he was receptive to and that's good. But it really hurt to see him. I really miss him. However I DID NOT SHOW IT!!! Big victory there. I was a little upset because he wasn't all that emotional and didn't give me a hug when I left (of course it's about 5 degrees outside and he had no coat on, so that might have been it). Then I got home and checked my caller ID. There was a call from him at about 2:30, which was weird since he knew I was at work. Then I started listening to my messages. He started off the message by saying he had lost my work number (he does that a lot - his desk at work is a mess). He wanted to call and let me know he had a great day at work, lots of customers and lots of money - he sounded really excited about it. The message went on for awhile, and he said hello to me, our S, the cats, and then hemmed and hawed and couldn't remember what else he had to tell me.
He called me. And wanted to tell me something so bad he left it on my answering machine. AND he is sharing his successes with me. This is good, right? More about goal specifics later... Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Up and down on the rollercoaster...well, we tried to play together otnight, but he kept having customers and such, so I finally decided to get offline. I think I sounded a little annoyed when I got on the phone, but I tried to keep it together.
The conversation was really short, really light, NO emotion really on his part but being apologetic that his shop was so busy. It hurts to feel like he doesn't miss me. It hurts that he didn't say anything like "I love you." I don't know what's going on in his head right now, and I am so afraid that it's nothing. That he thinks of me as just a friend...mebbe I am just a good friend and nothing else... I am bummed and don't know what to do or hope for right now. I want to call and beg for reassurance but I'm NOT going to!! I am gonna try...
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Well, I did call him back to ask a brief question but I did NOT lose control - I think this is gonna be one of those hard days. Sigh - DB'ing is tiring sometimes.
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Yep, it's hard most of the time. But there are times when it is just second nature and you learn how to respond in a manner that brings you closer together.
It just takes time and loads of patience.
Keep the faith!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
And wanted to tell me something so bad he left it on my answering machine.