My W seems to be pulling away more and more (not in a cold way, just in a very slow and subtle way), and I wonder if I need to basically let go and see what happens. Up to now I have been balancing, being there, doing stuff for W, but keeping a distance and giving space. But sometimes my offering to do stuff, or just being around I think annoys W - then again we live in the same house so its going be tricky.
This seems to be a theme here lately. I've seen similar expressions on many threads, mine included. Everyone says db is counterintuitive so giving space or freedom feels wrong but can eventually bring spouse back in, but man it's tough when you're feeling opposite effects. Sorry, don't have a lot of advice for that subject just empathy.
About the dresses, I think you'd look like a poor sport if you ask to hide the clothes. Can you try to share in their enthusiasm for the sake of the kids? Are you sure your W doesn't expect you to attend? It may require a conversation, where you could express your desire to attend and let her choose without offering any pressure. It could be a tug-of-war where she's trying to punish you and doesn't think you'd want to go anyways, but if you express your desire to go & then back off & wait for her answer it will give her the chance to extend grace. People like to be given the chance to be the good guy. Maybe she would choose differently than you'd expect, for the sake of the kids.
